New Coach, New Players, New Results? 6 Predictions for the 2012 Revs Season

by John Prance


The New England Revolution, after an offseason of change, have come out of the gates flying. The new possession-based offense that new head coach Jay Heaps has implemented instantly makes the team play a more entertaining brand of soccer. Entertainment value will always take a back seat to results, yet those seem to be falling the Revs way in the pre-season. New England opened up against the reigning MLS Champions Los Angeles Galaxy and didn’t disappoint. Benny Feilhaber had an absolutely gorgeous bicycle kick goal 90 seconds in, and the Revs ended up winning 3-2. Second opponent in the preseason was the New York Red Bulls, which the Revs dispatched 2-0. Revolution rookie (and third overall pick) Kelyn Rowe put in a man of the match performance scoring both goals and looking dangerous throughout. In the third preseason game, both The Revs and Real Salt Lake played bench players, but New England’s depth prevailed. Diego Fagundez, a 17 year old sophomore at Leominster High School, was instrumental in the victory. The prodigy who scored one goal and assisted the other will most likely be the Revolution’s third striker coming off the bench.

Up next for the Revolution is one more game against the always dangerous Los Angeles Galaxy. The Revolution will then have to finalize their roster and will start the season March 10^th against San Jose. With the season imminent, I find it important that I publish a series of predictions that can be used against me at the end of the season.

1. Preseason Results don’t matter:

Yes, I realize I just spent the last 250 words hyping up the amazing games the Revolution have had so far. Ignore everything that sounded positive. The Revolution were playing mainly starters in most games, where other teams were playing depth players. Last year’s MLS Cup Champions didn’t win a single preseason game. So while it is always nice to see a W next to your team’s name, it matters just as much as the WNBA All-Star Game.

Matt Reis

2.  Matt Reis will miss more than five games due to injury:

Matt Reis has been the starting goalie for the Revs since 2004. He was a major reason behind their early success, and since has played over 200 games. In 2011 he was one of the very few bright spots on the team, posting an incredible 111 saves, second in MLS. He also missed 7 games due to injury. He missed three and a half months in 2010. It is only a matter of time before the oldest player on the Revolution will be absent.

3. The Revolution will fail to sign a big name DP:

The designated player rule (known to fans as the David Beckham rule) allows teams to bring in expensive players and not have them count against the salary cap. The Revolution signed their first DP last season, Argentine forward Milton Caraglio. He was not brought back this offseason, and the Revs gave longtime midfielder Shalrie Joseph a DP contract. The Revs have yet to give the fan base a big name DP that they have longed for. Don’t expect it this year.

4. The Revolution will fail to make the MLS Playoffs:

Over 50% of the teams in MLS make the Playoffs. You don’t have to be good to get in; you just have to be barely above average. I think reaching for mediocrity is slightly higher than what The Revolution are capable of. As a matter of fact, here is a list of ten things I believe more likely to happen then the Revolution making the playoffs:

1. Ron Paul wins the Republican Primary
2. Manny Ramirez becomes an MLB all-star
3. Andrew Luck isn’t taken with the number one pick
4. Peyton Manning doesn’t make another TV commercial
5. Joe Buck becomes pleasurable to listen to
6. The Celtics sweep the Bulls, Heat, and Lakers in the NBA Playoffs
7. Geico finally makes a funny Caveman commercial
8. Ochocinco leads the league in TD’s
9. Ricky Valente’s band (The Repeat Offenders) will get signed by a major record label.
10. Tim Thomas backs Obama for President

Please don’t ask for my list of things more likely to happen then The Revolution winning the MLS Cup. (It includes me, some ice cubes, a bathtub, Scarlett Johansen, and a very obedient stunt dog.)

Seriously, get the stunt dog.

5. The Revolution will finish second to last in the Eastern Conference:

The Revolution will have a combined record of 11 wins 5 ties and 18 losses for a total of 38 points. They will sweep expansion side Montreal Impact for 3 of those 11 wins. The five ties will be a product of them having little defense. They will either outscore their opponents through the midfield, or concede on the backend. One major thing that will help New England this season is that the new schedule has them playing more games against the weaker North East opponents and limits the amount of long plane rides to the west coast.

6. New England will either win Rookie of the Year or MLS Goal of the Year:

Did you think I wouldn’t end on a happy note? I say one or the other to increase my odds of being right, but really, I like the Revolution’s chances for either of these awards. Rookie of the Year should be a realistic target as Kelyn Rowe is a younger Clint Dempsey without the constant sulking. This kid is honestly the real deal, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he was only with us for 3-4 seasons before he goes to Europe (same could be said about Fagundez). As for goal of the year, my rationale is slightly different. The New England Revolution have a great midfield that will be able to maintain possession and should be able to create chances. The Revs just don’t have a striker to put the ball in the back of the net. This to me means we will see lots of shots taken outside the 18 yard box. In the preseason already we have seen a bicycle kick and a curling upper 90 shot taken with a left foot. There may not be many goals this season, but they should be pretty. Just don’t expect the goal to be as good as Hamit Altintop’s.